Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Valentines 2010: The Carnage

For valentine's day dinner I decided to make homemade ravioli. I'm ambitious, determined, the embodiment of the can-do female spirit of the 2000's. WHY NOT! THE WORLD IS MINE!

Will graciously offered to take me to Earth Fare, the uppity organic little grocery place that is normally FORBIDDEN to me and my, um, poverty. Will said I could choose anything I wanted for the meal. I ran around the store as if on roller skates, throwing a pineapple into the cart, throwing random pricey oniony things into the cart, throwing caution to the wind, throwing a tantrum when the dairy lady told us the ricotta was all sold out.

First stop was my house first to use my roommate's food processor. I made the filling out of caramelized onions and butternut squash, then I made the dough, listening to blues on NPR and feeling very capable and smug. If anyone had called me on the telephone I'm sure I would have picked it up with my suave voice and said, "Oh, just making dinner...homemade, no pasta maker, I don't believe in unnecessary gadgets....oh, it's nothing,really, I make everything from scratch...." Thank GOD nobody called me, so I didn't have the chance.

Then we packed it all up, louge-ed down the driveway, and drove to Will's house where the ravioli assembly began. We rolled it out, cut it out, and began to meticulously fill and seal each ravioli. I crimped each one down with a fork and they looked....they looked just like Ravioli! We were doing it! I remember feeling very masterful, very cool and collected.

It only took about 3 1/2 hours. Total! It was only 11pm when dinner was actually served- whatever! That's how the Europeans do it! But it was all worth it when we threw them into the pot of boiling water and five minutes later served up.....the most unsightly massacre of Italian culture ever to be served on a dinner plate.


Something went wrong. Something happened inside that boiling that pot that was....unholy. I really have no idea what happened.

Yes, I made it. And yes, we have to eat it. But look on the bright side- at least we're not prisoners of war! Happy Valentines day, baby!


Ali said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ali said...

For Valentine's Day I spent weeks finding the perfect and most touching gifts for my beloved boyfriend. Only he didn't show up. EPIC FAIL.

Tracy said...

For Valentine's Day, my husband was at a bachelor party in Las Vegas, so I went shopping, made myself a salad and watched tons of crappy tv with a good bottle of wine. Actually a pretty good day :).

Ali said...

Actually, I ended up getting chocolates with friends, buying myself a rose plant, and watching a zombie movie. So aside from the assface, was a pretty good day.

Adriane said...

What in God's name? Anthony goes "it looks like the pig ears we give to Pip".
I think if you attempt chefery, we all go through some sort of food defiance...when the food rebels like some sort of Mutiny on the (culinary) Bounty.
This first happened to me with my friend Sarah when we tried to make Indian God, we even ruined the rice. Her ever-so-gracious boyfriend (now husband) ate his whole plate, bless him.
Point being, ya gotta F up some meals royally to make the really awesome ones.

And next time maybe a recipe is in order. <3