Reasons for not returning to my previous job:
1. Fear of drowning. (Me)
2. Another year's worth of Tino's special Pancakes, served over pancakes, with a side of pancakes, for dinner. (See also: reasons for returning to job)
3. Sooner or later, someone is going to start taking a good look at those itemized company Credit Cards bills.
4. The one time I tried to make an evening out of showing an episode of Sex and the City to the other staff members was a big no-hitter.
5. All-male work environment. (See also: reasons for returning to job.)
6. My superior once yelled at me for inadvertently making a pun.
7. Fear of drowning. (Me)