This Thing I Wrote about Coffee (and Rudy)

Well my sister moved away, I'm in the middle of unpacking, my eyeballs are bleeding and I've misplaced my keys. I could sure use some coffee right now, couldn't you? Sadly for me, I can't have any coffee because I tore my insides up by contracting E. Coli from a hamburger. Yes, you read it here first! But anyhow, I bring you this little article that deals with the complex elements of addiction, Facebook breakups, caffeine, my ex-boyfriend Rudy (the alpinist) and the best gosh darn drink on the mother fucking planet. I wrote it. It packs a punch, and I hope you enjoy.

Ah come on, Click me! It's bite-sized!