Tough As

I got my Xtra Tuffs- the Alaskan sneaker, they call it. I got my pair at the Marine Supply, which is where I shop now. Randall went with me and we made a big thing out of it.

Then Randall up and left for Alaska on his own boat, The Wilderness Explorer, and that's that. He went off and left me here at the Harbor tapping my foot. The Endeavor is the last boat in the fleet to sail North.

And Andrew left this morning, on an airplane to California. As I drove home from the airport I stopped at REI and stood staring at a row of coffee mugs for a long time. But I couldn't make up my mind, because I was trying hard not to think, so I just went home without anything. So I'm left here tonight in my bed alone, in my empty room, and the dog is eyeing me with suspicion and she refuses to lie next to me.

I'm wondering, on Sunday when it's my turn to go, will I actually be ready?

I should have bought a coffee mug. Or something off of The List That Won't Shrink.

But I had just seen my all my big walls and ski cabins and river camping and restaurants, all my thrill and excitement and comfort walk onto a plane and away from me for a long time. I wasn't good for anything after that.