Monday, February 9, 2015

so winded, so sincere

Thank you this week to Sarah, for keeping me warm.
I bought my wedding dress last week. It took 45 minutes. I should have gone with my best friend, Lisa, but she just left for Vanuatu for two years with the Peace Corps so I went by myself. When I found my dress, simple and satin and on the clearance rack for $299, the girls at the shop made me ring a bell. I was supposed to make a wish on my dress so I did. Then, as I was walking through the parking lot back to my car, one of them came sprinting after me. "WAIT! You forgot this!" Breathlessly, she thrust a paper heart at me, the same one that had been hanging on the door of my changing room. It had my name written on it in sharpie. "You'll want this for your memory book!"

The girl was so winded and so sincere that I took the heart, pressed it carefully into the pages of my complimentary Bridal Party Look Book, and hugged her. There's just something about the women who work in those dress shops. They seem to care about you, not only about finding your dress but about you, and I don't care that they're paid to do it, I love them for it.
of course this is not my dress! 
When I got home, I skimmed through the complimentary Bridal Party Look Book. Here's a tip, I read. Ask your bridesmaids to show up on The Big Day with dewey skin and a pastel eye.

I wondered what would happen if I told my sister she needed a pastel eye. The world would tremble, certainly. When I called her to announce my engagement, it was my brother in law, Brooks, who answered the phone. He loves David, especially loves having him around during the holidays, so he was thrilled and said so, while from the background I heard Anna shout, "I'M NOT WEARING ANY BULLSHIT DRESS!"

Anna is my maid of honor and my cousin is my bridesmaid. Lisa should be in my bridal party but, as I made mention, she is long gone, living in a string of islands whose only claim to fame, as far as I can tell, is having the world's only underwater post office. Before she left she begged me to delay my wedding until February of 2017. When I declined, she sent me some leaflets on Vanuatu destination weddings. I reminded her that father Coogan doesn't like water. And then she left.

I hadn't really noticed that she was gone, she lives 3,000 miles away in Seattle anyway, until last Friday in biology lab. The one that begins at 8:00 in the morning, and I can't think of anything more cruel. On this particular lab, the morose professor was standing in front of the class making an analogy about legos and organic molecules when he paused, held up a hand, and said, "Wait a second now- I just want to make sure that all the ladies in the class know what a Lego is."

Let me make something clear- I love it when he does this, when he hands me a pearl like this one and I can run home and tell Dave about it over dinner, then call up Lisa as I'm walking the dog and we can laugh and she'll say, "Oh Lina, I still don't understand why you moved."
Follow along on Instagram @melinadream
But when I called her the phone number didn't work any more. So I just walked up the street with the dog in silence, thinking about one particular time we had together. We played on the same ultimate team for years and years in college. We were both captains. The practices were always late at night, because that was the only time we could rent the fields, and afterwards we'd be soaked to the bone and freezing cold. It really does rain a lot in Seattle.

Sometimes, to warm up afterwards, we'd run a hot bath and put on our bikinis and soak together. We did this a lot after I moved into a house that had one of those extra large tubs with jets. One time, we decided to put bubble bath in the tub and then turn the jets on, just to see what would happen.

Well, here's what happened. The jets puffed up the bubbles into foam: thick, heavy, luscious foam like the kind from Harry Potter when he takes that incredible bath. It was awesome. But then, after we had drained the tub of water, the foam remained, a foot deep. We tried adding water, but that only made more foam. It was obvious that the foam was not going anywhere and we were in a lot of trouble.

We thought for a while about what to do. We were both scared of my roommates at the time, not that they weren't lovely people, but they were the type to know better than to air-jet a bubble bath. I suggested getting a pail or a pot and scooping the foam out of the tub and emptying it into the yard, but we did not want to go into the kitchen and arouse suspicion. Besides, it would have taken so many trips!

In the end, we were able to get rid of the bubbles by flushing them down the toilet and hammering the rest with a direct shower stream. It took so many flushes, in fact that may be why Lisa ended up joining the Peace Corps, to assuage her guilt of so much water wasted. Me, I'm still living with mine.

It's been a few weeks since the last Mystery Prize Monday. If you have forgotten, I give you a prompt and you leave a comment. I read and enjoy every comment, but I must randomly choose just one to win the Mystery Prize, which I will then send to your doorstep.

This prompt is very simple but also very sincere. (Picture me, running after you in a parking lot, a scrap of paper in my hand for your Memory Book.) Just tell me how things are going. Today. Or lately. It's been a little while and I really want to know. Tell me how you're doing. And also, if someone, anyone, could please tell me what a Lego is.

87 comments:

Karen Travels said...

When my good friend got married she told them "if you make me ring a damn bell, I am walking out without the dress." She lives 10 hours away, which is no Seattle, but man, I miss her.

Things are well with me, all things considered. Trying to stay optimistic. Started weekly energy massages, and it really did leave me happy, if only for today.

Beth said...

Lately, the heat has been keeping me up at night. Or maybe it's my novel, anxiously pacing at the back of my mind. I'll wake up at 3am and sit on the couch for ages, browsing on my phone until I fall back to sleep. But last night, I slept. All the way through. 99% efficiency, according to my FitBit, which is the best I've ever done.

To celebrate, this morning I made a fort out of blankets and sheets and cushions and remembered the days where I slept every night without a thought. Simpler times.

Stephanie Abdon said...

had a great night last night, then a rough day, then some good news tonight...hopeful for good things to come :)

adventurekate said...

I have a friend like you have Lisa. She sends me texts in the middle of the night that says "When is your job 'done' again?" and reminds me how last time we talked, I told her my heart was yearning the West, and remind me, WHY aren't you listening to your heart? She sends me skiing pictures and backcountry pizza recipes and maps of the Sawtooths.

And at the same time, she gets that I have to be doing my own thing. That we can really miss each other, and of course it would be way more fun if we were neighbors with joining backyards where our shared chickens would roam in the summertime and our shared garage would be a ski waxing room in the winter, but in the end, if I wasn't happy there, she wouldn't be happy either. And that's the test of a good friend. She'll love the hell out of you, even if she doesn't get why you have to do what you have to do.

So that's how I am. Heartsick for the West, and for my bestie, but confident that life will go on.

Megan Marie said...

Lately things have been...tiring. I work as a secretary/office assistant and after a day of several snarky phone calls and rude emails it was nice to come home to a happy pup and curl up in my Faborite chair with a good book.

Rhett said...

I came home to Upstate SC last week to visit my mom and her very ill friend, Mary. I've known Mary almost all my life and her daughter is one of my oldest and best friends. Mary is like a second mom and she has been fighting metastatic breast cancer for about 10 years. She has fought an incredibly brave fight but now there is nothing to be done but try to keep her comfortable and shower her with love. I was supposed to fly back to Missoula this afternoon but the plane had "weight and balance issues" (wtf?!) so they needed to bump 3 people. I bumped, called my Mama to come back and get me, and got to see Mary one more time tonight. I'm so grateful for one more visit. I will rise at 3am to drive back to Greenville. I hope all goes as planned tomorrow so I can pick my boys up at school. I miss them so much.

Chelsea said...

Lately I have been feeling restless. This Boston snow has been filling me with an absolute craving for adventure or just something new in my life. As always, I adore your writing and this post made me pick up the phone and call my best friend. Thank you for that.

Andrew Takahashi said...

I am very happy right now. To contrast what I just said, I ended up having emergency (minor) surgery last week at like 1 in the morning. I'd never had surgery before, so the idea kind of freaked me out, but Jillian dragged herself out of bed even though she had a long day of work and would have a long day the next as well. I woke up from the surgery and she was waiting for me in the room. They sent me home the next morning and told me I would need pain killers, and it's been 6 days and haven't taken a one. So, really, all things considered, things are very good. Plus, I just turned on the TV and the Parks and Rec episode where Andy sneezed his head into the wall was on. So, yeah, pretty good life.

carolyn said...

As of today I and searching deep to find my motivation to kick ass in the fitness world and fuel myself with healthy foods. Burnt out but not giving up, I am just seeing a glimmer of light.
I moved 5 hours from home for nursing school and my program was a small tight knit group of people and after graduation most of us moved. Some days I miss nursing school just cause I got to hang with some of my best friends all day, every weekend and pretty much every waking minute lol ❤️❤️

Judy Klein said...

Congrats on your dress and engagement! I'm feeling a little cheated by all the Seattle rain but none of it manifesting in mountain snow worth skiing down. So two pairs of grownup skis and two pairs of tiny kid skis sit in the garage, mocking me every morning when I walk my daughter to the bus stop. In the rain, which I always considered the price of skiing.

Legos. I'm pretty sure they are the tiny plastic things that make the vacuum crackle.

Melinda said...

I am genuinely so freaking excited for you. I remember reading your posts before you moved and were heartbroken and just wishing so much that you could find your person and YOU DID! That's the best.

I am a CPA in the middle of tax season and questioning my own sanity in this career choice. But also loving it at the same time. Loving to help people who feel overwhelmed and taking their crazy shoebox of crap and turning it into order.

My husband and I have recently moved in with my 83 year old dad to help him deal with the onset of dementia. Some days I feel like we are doing the exact right thing and some days I feel like I am sacrificing all the good in my life to smash my own world into my childhood bedroom.

My husband is traveling this week for work so it is just me and my dad this week. Which is rough, honestly. And my kind sweet staff started off the morning at the office with a big box of donuts and a sign that said "We love Melinda week. Day 1." I kind of can't wait to see what they come up with tomorrow.

Jill said...

This post makes me miss my best friend, who is miles away from my Wisconsin, much warmer than I am since she's in Colorado. It's hard having her so far away, mostly because I'm so scared of losing her. I don't really know how to do long-distance. Then I worry that I'm not a good enough friend, because shouldn't I trust her and us to withstand a little distance? I guess I tend to always assume the worst about friendships, since I've usually been the one left behind and I don't know how to prevent or fix that cycle. This week especially, these thoughts and worries have been crowding my head so your post seems fortuitous. If you have any long-distance friend advice, lay it on me. I need it.

khamzi said...

I am great. I justo work after having my daughter. And I got offered a job as a lactation consultant which I wanted to do for so long. It has been hard to challenge myself learning so much with the newborn but it is worth it.

Nicole said...

It's Lego. Sorry. Had to.
I'm good. I went back to work last week after a year off with my (second) baby. It feels good to finally have made that transition - the anticipation was harder than the real thing. I'm grateful to live in Canada, where we get the full year. I can't imagine leaving him much earlier. Actually, I'm pretty damn grateful for everything right now. I'm running a lot too, which seems to feed the gratitude.
As for the wedding: my advice is to focus on the fun and stay clear away from all of the commercialized hype. I sense this won't be an issue for you, but man, is it ever easy to get wrapped up in the insanity. I splurged (relatively speaking) on good music and great food. Nothing fancy, but definitely yummy. I figured that people deserved a good party, and that did it. Everything else was casual and low-key, and in my opinion, it was the best wedding I've been to ;)

Corrie said...

I had a 6 hour Skype date with my best friend today. We haven't "talked" in weeks (text messages are lovely but don't always count, it seems), so it was much needed. We watched Gone girl on opposite ends of the conversation, with hers usually 3 seconds ahead of mine, and we both drank a full bottle of wine and then moved on to whatever other alcohol was in the house. Her husband came home to a cold dinner and drunk wife, my dad called to ask me a question and pretty much instantly hung up when it was obvious I wouldn't have a clue, and neither was upset because both know how much we (the girls) need time with the other. It was an awesome day. Life is really good.

AlaskanAlison said...

Life is good right now. I've got a little girl kicking in my belly, who really enjoys wedging her foot in my ribs in the most painful way possible. We just bought a house. My In Laws are visiting and helping us paint it. We've got a foot of very fluffy snow on the ground. Life is good.

Andrew Takahashi said...

PS, I miss Lisa too.

Lillian Keil said...

I am recovering from the heartbreaking loss of $450 in a parking lot this afternoon. Pretty sure it was karma for swearing at bank teller who told me they "don't take cash." I'm still trying to figure out how that's possible... Congratulations from a sloshingly grey Tacoma. Bells ringing, indeed!

Aimee said...

haha Lego - small plastic building blocks. Primarily designed to stay unseen on the floor until an unsuspecting parent walks by and gets a small piece embedded in their foot. It fucking hurts. Take my word for it.

Me, today. Tired as I was awake to mini me at 2 am. She needed a hug. I needed unbroken sleep, but hey.
Shopping for cute fabrics with a friend made me happy. Foamy creamy hot chocolate for a win.
Otherwise I'm ok, missing my mum for some reason - 3 years down the track and some days its just hard. I want to show her the projects i'm working on. To see madam on her bike or at ballet. Meh.
I have food, a home and family and a pretty awesome life. All is good.

Sian said...

Oh I love how you write. You kind of weave your thoughts and stories together in a way that so delicious :) and lately I'm so excited by the things happening in your life. It makes makes me want to chase after you with a paper heart too :)

How am I doing? Really good actually. Lately I'm in that mode of eating well and exercising a lot so Im full of energy. I have two kids so that's rare. I've noticed that I do this. I have periods of time when I'm calm and organised and rocking it and then it (without fail) crashes and I'm disorganised and anxious and it all goes out the window. I'm started to accept this though. I am not a consistent person and I never will be. I'm more of a in short bursts kind of girl. There is a rhythm to it and in that way I guess I am consistent. Maybe it's also why when I was at school I rocked the 100 metre sprint but was always last in the long distant running lol

Love to you Melinda x

chasingpiggens said...

I'm flip-flopping between feeling totally empowered by my new independence and giddy at the unique and extreme circumstances in which I find myself, and feeling scared and disappointed when the adults around me don't live up to my hopes. Nothing pisses me off more than when grownups act like fifth graders, and I'm isolated in a new place with very few adults. Alaska kicks ass, but making a life in a tiny village in the interior is HARD. It's like teaching: tough and rewarding and all about relationships.

Suzie said...

Life is good. My boys are healthy and growing like weeds, my husband has actually been home during the week this last week which is unusual and it's so nice to have him here and we've just booked to go to Lapland at christmas. I've been feeling restless and in need of adventure too as I feel like I've lost some of my adventurous spirit since my children were born, post natal depression will do that, so Arctic circle here we come!! For me, it will all be about desperately hoping to see the northern lights but for my boys, it will about seeing the big man himself, Father Christmas. Only 10months to go!!!!

Katie said...

I have to admit something embarrassing. When I read the prompt for this week, I teared up and broke down. I'm on the verge of making a move back to the United States from Taiwan on FRIDAY. And currently, I'm in a hard place. It's hard to leave, it's harder to return home, and it's terrifying to figure out my next step. So right now, I'm overwhelmed. Thanks for asking. And I'm glad I could admit that somewhere, because I've had every person in my life ask me how I'm feeling recently, and I"m really tired of saying I'm OK. I'm scared and nervous, actually! So thank you for giving me a place to quietly vent.

I just really love your blog. I look forward to each post and read it slowly to make sure I get every word! Thank you for writing. And so many congratulations on your engagement!

Jessica Smith said...

At the moment, I'm really anxious. In waves, frozen and afraid most of the time but trying to make some steps forward anyhow.

I love your writing and reading it with jasmine tea makes me feel better.

LauraB said...

I'm writing you from the medical ICU at 5 AM. Finishing out an incredibly exhausting shift where everyone was trying to die or escape from their bed or something in between that. Thought you'd be interested to know with your nursing ambitions. :P

I'm good, but restless in the way I always am in Febuary. It's almost nice enough to camp and rock climb and play....but just not quite.

Smaychel said...

I am newly pregnant with my second child, and am suffering with hyperemesis gravidarum - which is basically very extreme pregnancy sickness. I spent the weekend in hospital where they attempted to rehydrate me and get the vomiting under control. It's pretty hard going, especially with a three year old to look after and a husband who needs to go to work so he doesn't lose his job. I know I should be grateful to be pregnant at all, but I'll be honest and say I'm struggling hard right now.

It's strange to know that in a few months this awfulness will turn to joy. It's almost impossible to imagine right now, but I know from last time (I had the same condition in my first pregnancy) that it will come.

Your post took me back to my wedding. It was so lovely. A humanist ceremony here in Scotland, thistles and a ceilidh. My dress was lace, so simple, and I loved it. I hope you have the most enjoyable wedding x

Erin Macauley said...

Life is full. I am fully embracing mothering the boyfriend's almost-17 year old daughter and just-turned 14 beagle. At 31, never having had a kid or a dog, this at times has me squealing with delight (picture: the child scampering around the kitchen like her ferret, complete with noises), oozing with joy (feel: her laying her head on your shoulder), and grimacing in frustration (hear: the plaintive whining of the incontinent old lady dog at 3:30 in the morning). Been living with them for six months now, but feeling like I am just finding my stride. Being stupidly in love with the whole family is both liberating and terrifying.

PS I got my mail yesterday, Lina. Many thanks for the sunshine. "Send Lina Package" is on my post-it list, so you should see your surprise soon!

Bethany said...

Cabin Fever. Snow storm, upon snow storm. A 3 month old baby leaves little room for roaming outdoors in sub zero temps. Inside these four walls, we're getting restless. I've decided to start planning out my garden plans. The thought of green grass helps. February is always a long month. Next winter, we're headed south for a week, this month. That will be nice. I love the story about the paper heart. The sweetest.

Kristen said...

I am blessed and cursed to have a best friend who lives a million miles away. Okay maybe more like a couple thousand but it feels like a million. I miss her a lot. She grounds me almost daily from far away but so many days I wish she could be here to give me a big hug. Other than that things are okay. Hard. Heavy. Challenging but okay.

kimalli1 said...

Things are good- I just celebrated my 15th anniversary! That feels BIG! I am somehow old enough to have been married for 15 years. Hmmm, that's odd. I think it's pretty common though- to feel younger than your years, at least once you reach the age of 30. Prior to that, I think it's pretty common to feel older than your years. I imagine at some point, it will even out and I will actually feel my age. Maybe at 80?

marinj said...

Things have been tough lately. The crap at work has been worse than usual the past couple weeks, layoffs, people quitting, narcissistic bosses and just drama in general. On top of a stressful job, I'm also dealing with a fibroid that is huge and will need surgery soon. But, I'm trying to choose happiness in spite of it all and have a good attitude.

Joanne Hekkers said...

I was out with my girlfriends in Burlington VT the other night, which is rare now that we all have little kids. We were on Church Street and we walked by the bridal shop where I got my dress, which is empty with For Rent signs in the windows. I felt a little bit of a loss. I went there with my mom and looked through so many dresses. I thought I wanted a simple flowy dress, that in my mind would match my laid back approach to he wedding, but none of them were right. I tried on this structured dress which corseted my middle and pushed up my boobs, and knew it was the one. Ha! So that store, with those cheerful girls and that amazing seamstress is now closed, and that dress is preserved in a giant box in my front hall closet.

Sarah said...

I'm doing good, thanks for asking! Feeling a little anxious about a big move at work - literally, our entire school prek-2 is moving into a new building. Our old building is old, cramped, and falling apart. But it's cozy. We're all on top of each other, and we have become family because of that. In our new space, we're all going to get to spread out and have our own (BIG!) spaces. But, I'm worried we will feel lonely a little being g so far apart! Even so, I know we will be okay...change is just change, and it will eventually feel "normal" and we'll all laugh at how worried we were about it for nothing, and be thankful we're not on top of each other anymore! We move on Friday and unpack next week over vacation, so wish me luck!!

Sarah said...

I'm doing good, thanks for asking! Feeling a little anxious about a big move at work - literally, our entire school prek-2 is moving into a new building. Our old building is old, cramped, and falling apart. But it's cozy. We're all on top of each other, and we have become family because of that. In our new space, we're all going to get to spread out and have our own (BIG!) spaces. But, I'm worried we will feel lonely a little being g so far apart! Even so, I know we will be okay...change is just change, and it will eventually feel "normal" and we'll all laugh at how worried we were about it for nothing, and be thankful we're not on top of each other anymore! We move on Friday and unpack next week over vacation, so wish me luck!!

Jen said...

Your dress shopping experience sounds a lot like mine! Went by myself, done in about 45 minutes, $150 dress off the sales rack. I did not have to ring a bell though. Can't wait to hear more about your wedding! Mine was last year and was an amazing, low key celebration. Helps keep the important things in focus that way!

I'm doing ok. I am feeling a little stuck right now. I'm waiting for big news next week that I can't elaborate on in case someone I know sees this. The news will either leave me jubilant or devastated, so I am trying to prepare for both. Meanwhile I'm wishing for Spring while my surroundings are buried under 6 feet of snow with more to come. Thinking of taking the dog on a long wintery walk today to fight the winter blues!

Lori Delgado said...

So, about those wedding keepsakes, I have a basket/bag full of them, taking up real estate in my closet. I may declutter and just throw them all away. I got married. My husband is keepsake enough. But, maybe keep them for now? I know I kept mine for sentimentality for a while, and loved looking through them for a bit. But, my shoes need room.

And life, right now? It's life, right now. A bit busy, a bit crazy, filled with love, filled with hopes, dreams, wishes, and crazy. Hectic crazy, the type where you don't know how you are going to get through the work day crazy. But, you manage. You always manage- so I don't know why I'm freaking out over a little crazy. Life is good.

Britta said...

You, ripping my heart out with your beautiful writing: https://bmj2k.files.wordpress.com/2014/01/lego-5-anatomy-man.jpg

Karen said...

I'm in a serious February Funk. I'm trying to read and take naps and do crafts with the kids and watch movies and go for snowy walks outside with the dog, but it's not working. We keep getting buried in more snow and the temperature hasn't gone above the freezing mark in weeks. It's too cold to play outside because our faces feel like they are going to freeze off. So I'm just trying to accept the current state of funkiness, reminding myself that after February comes March. And in March we usually see glimpses of spring here in Nova Scotia. I just can't wait for spring!!! (BTW, lego is currently my tablecloth. And carpet. And I can't say that I really mind!)

Keli said...

I got to see my best friend over the weekend. She's the sister I chose and I love her so. We live about three hours apart and don't text or call much but when we're together it's awesome. She was the first person I got to share some very special news with this weekend.

I should say something about how I feel for you that your best friend won't be there on your wedding day but that's crap. You and I both know she will be there with you every step of the way. Also, it will be super fun to share all the photos and stories with her again once she's home. I think it takes balls to do what is right for you and not put your plans on hold for anyone.

I got married in September, it was a beautiful day and I am SO glad it's over :)

Chelsea Kastelnik said...

I am feeling restless with the weather we are having. The PNW is having a really mild winter... we had crazy rain the last few days, but it's sooo warm. The mild temps make me want spring and summer like crazy! I appreciate reading about your adventures across the country though, thanks for taking us all along the journey! :)

Casey Toby said...

Things are ok, not good, not bad. A lot going on. Husband is stressed, making life complicated. Work is busy, making me stressed. I feel like I can only describe things in basics right now with no elaborations. Maybe it's the fact that it's February and a solid 80* and throwing me all out of whack

Elisa said...

Well, I'm a lady too...so when you find out what a Lego is, you let me know ;) gee whiz! lol

I went to a bonfire on Friday and left with a horrible asthmatic-type cough. I've still got it. And I think I'm still hung over. I should have known not to let them open the bottle of wine infused with brandy.

Trying to cram for my embryology exam tomorrow.

In other words I'm tired and cough-y but feel purposeful, today.

Sarah Beth said...

Ahh, this reminded me of my best friend Tera. I just got the best news a few weeks ago that I had to keep secret and it was so hard. But her and her little family are moving 3 hours closer to Bozeman. Actually they are moving to Jackson, WY. So not only can I actually make weekend trips happen, but it is in one of the most awesome little towns around. Can't wait to play the role of crazy aunt to her little girl.

b said...

Things are not going the best. There have been some shake ups at work, and I'm feeling unsettled about it. It's February and our yard is covered with ice and snow. I'm ready for spring and sunshine.

TeresaJ said...

My boyfriend's mom passed away from lung cancer 3 weeks ago today, my dad has been in and out of the hospital/doctor's office/etc with heart failure, and my little cutie of a nephew had a seizure a week ago that set of a whirlwind of doctor's appts, monitors, etc. My sister is single, so we have all been helping, including staying up all night long to monitor his oxygen in his blood. But now, this week, all has been ..... ok? I finally feel like I am getting back to normal. Normal is good. Very, very good.

The Jenkins Family said...

I love your writing. I'm in Oregon :-) PNW Love.
Congrats on the dress. My mom's colon cancer might have returned for the 3rd time. She has an appt. today so I'm nervous and sitting at work reading your blog doing anything but working...

Rachel said...

I have a healthy strong body, a warm house and so much good food, and am surrounded by a great community of people and a supportive, fun partner. Dealing with the stress of finishing my PhD in the next three months is overwhelming a lot of the time these days, but is also a good reminder that I'm so lucky to have access to this education and that I get to do what I love. (And, I'm also very lucky--and considerably less stressed--to have a postdoc already lined up.)

I've been in a bit of a slump for about a week now, but putting into words how I'm actually doing--which is really well--helps put it into perspective. Thank you for the opportunity! And thanks for your great writing and for taking us along on your wedding adventure.

mountain girl heidi said...

I've been "volunteering/shadowing" at this facility for several weeks to keep my skills in my profession (been unemployed for a while). I interviewed for a position a few weeks ago, and I still haven't heard about the job. I'm kicking myself for not asking today. I feel like the world's worst prospective employee. And I've got something else starting today that I'm nervous about but I'm hopeful it will help improve some relationships. But my husband and I are going to Boulder, CO for the weekend, so I'm thrilled to escape Nebraska for a few days.

Kathy Kelley said...

So glad that you said "yes to the dress" !
I was fortunate to have worn my mother's dress. It was also worn by her twin sister, who just passed away the week before Christmas, and her daughter. So, four of us from two generations have been married in the same dress.
You made me stop and think about the day I modeled the dress for my father, who is now in a nursing home suffering from dementia.I'll never forget the look on his face as he saw me in the dress that his bride wore 30 years earlier.
Keep that paper heart.

Wendi said...

My old best freind and I took a bubble bath in a heart shaped jetted tub once. We made one of the boys that lived in the house bring us cocktails to sip on, and sat in their laughing and joking for hours.

I am doing very well lately. I just refinanced my mortgage loan and lowered my payment by $200 a month, I've picked up a part time job that I love, booked a week long trip in Hawaii in May, and gotten a tattoo I've wanted for a long time...I'm almost afraid that things are going too well, and that something terrible will happen soon, lol.

Jaime said...

While I could go on about my life at the moment, I won't. You don't deserve the negativity, but I will say again that I am beyond thrilled that you have found such a good man. It such an exciting time for you. I cannot wait to see pictures of your dress and the whole day. Don't stress about the details. The things that go "wrong" are the fun things you remember later on. Don't let anyone steal the joy from this time. Seriously.

Carly said...

I love your writing so much. All the wedding stuff makes me laugh. I'm doing very, very well thank you. I just found out today that my very best friend in the entire world (who lives in Seattle-ish too) is finally flying out to visit me with her baby that I haven't seen since her birth a year ago. I'm just so thrilled. I'm very happy, for reals this time.

Liz said...

Very conflicted about a man. So many good things, but not sure if the personality/sense of humor match is fully there. And he's a sweetheart, so I will feel like a cruel cruel person when/if I end it. Especially since I never stop talking (metaphorically) about finding a kind partner. In a related story, reading a FASCINATING book called "Attached", about adult attachment in the context of relationships. Recommended to me by two different men in the space of 24 hrs. Home sick. That's all the news that's fit to print! And your dress is perfection, assuming it's the one from Instagram. :)

Micca said...

Rough few days involving being busy at work, the worst-fitting bridesmaid dress, and only 10 days to fix it before I leave for a big expensive far-away wedding...and my inner hippie is crying for my friend to change her mind and get married barefoot in the woods. I can hold the incense and chant! (Instead of failing at coming up with bachelorette games).


Luckily my best pal, after lots of nodding and reassurance via text popped up with a Taylor Swift quote from an interview that explained it all away: "You just have to blame Mercury, cause it's just hella in retrograde."

Just HELLA! It's not often Tay Tay makes me laugh outloud & makes me reevaluate. :)

CorporateHippy said...

Currently, I'm excited, nervous and also a bit stressed. My husband and I are planning to leave this weekend to spend 3 weeks in the place where we'd love to live if our jobs would allow it. It is "up north" and wonderful and what we consider paradise. Plenty of outdoors and a wonderful community and some of the best breweries I've ever hung out in. These 3 weeks, we will be working remotely from there because our jobs will allow it. Its a test, a precedent and a step in the right direction. But packing to leave for 3 weeks of real life is daunting. Deciding what to pack and how to fit it all in with our 2 big dogs is challenging at best. However, I'm so excited for the opportunity, I can hardly contain myself.

Bethany Smith said...

Content and sore. I started this journey to be happy with myself and to bring out the person I am outside of being a mother. Right now that entails working out to shed the baby weight, dye my hair the color chocolate, acquire the tattoo I've had planned for years, and continue to fiercely love my husband and three kids. Rediscovering myself is a wonderful feeling!

aelomellin said...

I'm currently very anxious. My husband is forcing me to go with him to the Dominican for a week. We leave Sunday. We have three small children and I'm so anxious to leave them. I'm also pretty convinced the plane will crash leaving my children orphans all because my husband wanted a tan.

I'm sure it will be lovely once we are there. I've just spent most of the day reading articles about how unlikely it is that my planes will crash.

I can't wait to see your dress!!

Monique said...

Content and quiet. I took my oldest to get braces today. She was not amused but still looks so beautiful. Working from home which is a treat and waiting for her and my son to tumble in from school. Basketball practice tonight and dinner with my family. Predictable but comfortable. Congrats on finding a dress so easy! Wedding dress shopping was not my favorite thing to do. UGH!

Susan S said...

Melina! I laughed and laughed! I had a college math teacher who actually apologized to the class as he was going over the last week's test. "I realize now I prejudiced the test in favor of the guys." What? "The hardware store story problem. I'll make it up to the ladies on the next test." Sure enough, there was a question on the next test about how to adjust a chocolate chip cookie recipe to make one and a half batches. A ratio is a ratio is a ratio, whether it's about nuts and bolts or eggs and chocolate chips. Even the guys knew that and, poor them, looked sooo very embarrassed and abashed.

Today, I'm a little bruised. I fell on the treadmill on Sunday because I, stupidly, was not using the safety-off clip. My left hand looks like the bruises on your legs, plus I have a lovely road-rash effect where the treadmill sanded away the top layer of skin. I learned that if the manufacturer goes to the trouble of including a safety device, you probably ought to use it, even if you're not old, frail or prone to low blood sugar syncope. Any moment, just any moment, your water bottle will fall on the floor and, without thinking, you reach to retrieve it, step sideways on the moving belt, fall thunderously, claw fruitlessly at the moving belt as you shoot off the end and get wedged between your sister's manky Frasier's-dad recliner which will. not. budge. and the end of the treadmill, which also will not budge, and you must call out to your 72-year-old mother in the next room to come save you from fitness technology. Mom panics, throws herself across the moving belt trying to reach the plug to yank it out of the wall, and winds up getting thrown around like a rock in a tumbler. Again, Mom is 72 years old. I am glad for her granite-like bone density, but she now has bruises all over her body that look like the ones on your legs. It's all very Laverne and Shirley, but Mom's bruises actually hurt my heart. So, it's important to wear the safety-off clip for Mom's health and well-being, too. Lesson learned. Oy.

I live in Everett, Washington; my best friend lives in Casper, Wyoming. She has a very busy life taking care of her two fantastic daughters and working as a pharmacist. She is 14 years younger than I am, a marvelous person and I don't get to see her nearly enough. She made me wear an absolutely hideous dress, and a few months after the event, asked me why I didn't tell her she had turned into Bridezilla. A) She hadn't quite, turned into Bridezilla and B) I did try to talk her out of the Christmas church wedding and into following through with her original plan of getting married on the beach in Hawaii, just her and her husband and two borrowed locals for witnesses, and spending the money on the honeymoon, but her family whined and she caved. And, of course, C) it was her wedding and, unless she had told me she was taking out a loan to pay for a $100,000 ice sculpture chapel to get married in, I wasn't inclined to try to curb her enthusiasm. The wedding is a party. Life is the marriage.

Congratulations on your own wedding, Melina! May the Lego block days of your marriage always stack up and fit together perfectly.

Jessica said...

February is always the month of change in my life. Year after year I say "this year will be different. February will not get me this time, no sir. I'm sitting still."

But, guess what?

We're moving, we're buying a car, my brother is recovering from two emergency brain surgeries. We're finally filing a malpractice against Kade's doctor who insisted I was "overprotective." Things are absolutely spiraling.

Because it's February.

So, I'm doing as well as I can be. February is the most intense, rainy month here. I mean... holy shit man. Our apartment is like a cave. It's dark and dreary as a deep depth of hell.
Our new place will have more windows, more space, hopefully more stretching room for growing and learning and loving. Maybe I'll start feeling less like a mushroom and more like some pretty green moss? ;)
Love you Lina, hope to see you soon (in March?!).

-Jess
Happyherestill.blogspot.com

Emily Hackethorn said...

I would give you a big hug and say hey it's me Emily! (and probably give the heart to Josey who of course, would be at my side) I walked all over Seattle searching for a vintage wedding dress. I ended up having one made at Selvedge Studio in Missoula, and loved that process. Having "the dress" made it all more real for me. Sorry your best amiga will be gone, sounds like you two will do something extra special when she returns!

Alicia Henderson said...

First off, I am so happy that you are happy. I am a regular reader, but not regular commenter. I remember reading your earlier blog entries when you struggled with relationships, and I am so happy that you found your perfect match. You frequently give me workout motivation (seriously, those back muscles in that wedding dress)!!! I am so glad that the girl at the wedding shop brought you your heart. That was so sweet that she wanted you to have it! Despite what is normal for me, I ordered my wedding dress online from Texas! I just saw it one day and bought it. It was kind of risky as it wasn't returnable, but it was perfect!

As for me, I am doing well! Everything is going well at work. My husband and I will also celebrate being together for 10 years (not married 1o years! We like to celebrate! We celebrate our dating anniversary and wedding anniversary (maybe we are weird). I can't believe it has been that long. We are starting to plan our little one's 2nd birthday party (seriously, where does the time go)! I'm nervous about my Dr. appointment tomorrow. I had 4 basal cell carcinoma's removed from my face last year. Tomorrow, I will have my first laser treatment for the scars and my first preventative treatment. I am nervous, but excited too. Scars are tricky things!

Please keep us updated on your wedding journey!

XOXO- Alicia in Atlanta

Virginia Prescott said...

I am living in Moses Lake, WA and really disliking it. I have found it easy to adapt in so many areas but this town...surely you have driven by. Everyone loves it here but I am grasping for minds who are present and conscious and not so rooted in the past. It has never been this hard or frustrating and I'm trying to decide if it is worth staying and being a force for good or leaving and finding a more likeminded community.

meg@ourwaytoeat.com said...

I love the whole dress story. The bridal shop ladies might genuinely care, but I will not soon forget how they tried to talk my best friend out of a sassy short party dress with a retro jacket. They said that it was her special day and she should feel like a princess. And she picked what she wanted anyway, thank goodness.

Things are kind of "meh" for me. Still not feeling normal after losing my father-in-law last fall. Now, I feel out of shape and in a rut. And its dark and cold and snowy. I have hope though. I won't stay down forever.

Valerie W. said...

I just handed in my notice at work today. I've worked here for 15 years, but I met someone. I'm moving. Away from family & away from the familiar. I'm 32 & starting a new adventure with a new person, a couple kids and a couple dogs. I'm scared shitless. Maybe though, if everything pans out, I'll be shopping for a wedding dress someday.

Unknown said...

Do you know when you have that day...that golden hour kind of day. Where every second of the entire day was kissed by the sun of the golden hour. They only come around every once in a while - usually when you least expect it. You cherish those days, you remember those days, and you try your hardest to recreate those days with no such luck - no matter how hard you try. I just had one of those days and it was amazing.

It was followed by the worst day I have had in years. What the hell? I look around to see if the universe is laughing at me or something.

I seem to live in these extremes. Is it just me or does everyone struggle with finding a normal and being happy in it?

Jamie said...

I am in Maine! I just moved here from Vermont for nursing school a month ago and even after having lived in New England my whole life I am doing a lot of adjusting. I have 35 new (potential) friends, and it feels like college all over again. I am in an accelerated BSN program (from what I can tell you might be going this route also!) and everyone keeps telling us how difficult and strenuous it is. This is all well and good except we have had 4 snow days thus far (in 3 weeks of classes) so I just keep waiting for things to get hard!

Otherwise life in Maine is great! My friends and I have developed a hashtag for our next 16 months here - #wheninmaine - we use it to describe things that we believe only to happen to people who live in Maine. So far it has involved a lot of shoveling and a lot of sitting inside waiting for storms to pass reading about urinary catheters and the sterile technique!

Tomorrow is our first exam and instead of doing some reviewing before bed I am catching up on blogs - I'd say I'm off to a good start!

Nicole said...

Thank you for asking! I'm.....ready for spring, I think. I've been feeling agitated and out of sorts. Very torn between hibernation and world domination and stuck in this place where I get nothing done, in a very unsatisfying and agitating way. I don't know. Maybe it's anxiety? That's how I am. And thirsty. Since you asked :)

Cait said...

I'm feeling worn out, after getting extremely frustrated with a drug-seeking pregnant patient of mine today. She was the whole package: late to care, other kids taken by CPS, denies drug use while I have her positive urine drug screen in front of me, and still telling me that nothing works for her back pain but opiates. She got to me, and I was not happy with myself for that. Later, after some deep breaths, I remembered what I always tell myself about the chokehold addiction has on people, and I was proud of myself for remaining calm and polite and compassionate to her even while I was seething inside.

It's a weird kind of falling in love with this new place I'm in. I never thought I could love the sand and desert and Southwest but good golly, I do. The huge blue sky lifts my heart even on my worst days. It feels like too much to hope to get a job out here and continue the love affair.

Haleigh said...

I so appreciate this - your asking of how I'm doing. I felt particularly lonely today, desperately wanting to call a friend to vent, but not feeling like I have a friend like that. Of course, I do have people I can talk to. But I miss having that best friend. See, Melina, I too have been struggling through Chemistry courses these last two semesters. And my god, it's exhausting! It takes everything out of me to understand what seem to be the simplest concepts to everyone else. But I keep trying!

Sunshine said...

We had to make the terrible, horrible decisions to put our 13 year old dog to sleep on this past friday. I had to be with her as my hub could not handle being there. I stood there with her snout in my palm and wispered my love to her. She couldn't hear me, and she could hardly see me but I know she smelled me and she knew I was there. Today is Wednesday and it's the first morning I haven't gone to walk her and remembered there isn't anyone to walk any longer. I joked once that I wouldn't wish stepping on a lego with your heal to my worst enemy. Pain like that...it's whoa. Be well, congratulations on your up coming wedding. much love.

Liz Stout said...

Things are a whirlwind of chaos, but I love that they're that way! Skiing, climbing, horses, and burgeoning opportunities for the future. I'm finding pockets of stress, of course, but by and large I wear a perma-grin on my face of late. There is so much to be happy about and thankful for!

Alice said...

Things have been a little rough lately. Our hospital system just switched over to Epic for documenting and it has been stressful and chaotic, not to mention usually friendly people are now angry and snappy. On top of that my clinical rotation for grad school isn't working out, and 4 weeks into the semester I am still not IN clinicals. I've fallen pretty far behind my classmates and the thought of failing this semester over something so ridiculous is terrifying. On the up side, at least my geriatric pets all seem to be happy and doing well (for now).

Marie said...

Hi Melina. I'm good! Today in my 5:30 AM spin class, the instructor put on a video of Rides Across America and it featured NC. I imagined I was riding with you. I'm super excited for you and your upcoming wedding.

Aimee LH said...

Lately I'm also winded. Picked up a 2nd job and in the middle of orientation got my wallet stolen. They charged $650 in 9 transactions all within 45 minutes....but they left me with perspective on resilience that sometimes we are forced to come face to face with, for that I am thankful. And their $7.48 purchase at Bath & Body works....I'm thankful they're smelling better out there somewhere.

Whitney said...

Honestly? Life is hard right now. Not in any big tragedy, illness, loss kind of way. Just hard in the everyday little things kind of way. I stay home with my three kids and I'm about to turn 36 and I'm just feeling a bit lost lately. I don't really know how to figure out what I need without shorting someone else of their needs. But it's sunny today, and I went for a run even though I was really dreading it, and I felt strong afterwards....so that's a start.

Anonymous said...

Timelines are killing me. Everyone wants a timeline. I'm adopting a 4 yr old with DS from China. we were officially matched 8/21/14. I won't likely travel until April. Not too many people understand the process and get "angry" at the delay in her homecoming. Noone more then me. But I get the process. And absorb the timeline. As frustrating as it is. Timelines.... they are never on our schedule. I'm naive to believe we can ever control them. I admit that now. As hard as that may be.

Kelsey said...

I love it when people call me Kels instead of Kelsey. Makes me feel like we are friends rather than just acquaintances or coworkers.

Destiny C said...

Hi Melina. I've read here off and on for a long time but never commented. Congratulations on your engagement, I wish you ridiculous amounts of happiness in married life! Now on to the telling of how things have been. Things for me and mine pretty much suck right now. My husband was dismissed from his job as a locomotive engineer for some extreme bullshit reasons, so now it's up to the union to fight for his job back. Which they will, because of aforementioned bullshittiness. We're looking at 1-2 years. I'm a stay at home mom and we homeschool our two kids. We moved to this beautiful mountain town less than a year ago (job transfer) and are desperate to stay here because, well, mountains. And rivers. And creeks. We want this life for our kids, the life of wilderness access 10 minutes away. The job market here is horrendous and I don't know what we're going to do. So to summarize, BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

QueenTage said...

I'm sorry your best lady friend won't be able to stand by your side when you marry your all-time best friend. It's so heartwarming to get to read about your plans for the wedding. Sometimes I just want to go wedding dress shopping again for the heck of it...it was one of my favorite parts of all the planning.

I'm so optomistic about the beauty of life right now that it might be sickening to some but I just can't help it. I spent a long time being sad and broken so I don't want to take a single second of this joy and contentment for granted

Rachel said...

Is it too late to respond to this? Things suck right now. There are sporadic, tiny glorious moments, but they're only a brief distraction from the fact that life is upside down, or is about to be. It's hard being old enough to know that everything passes, but there's no guarantee how long that will take to happen. Life is so, so hard sometimes.

Jess B said...

Things are good here, the normal daily scramble and bliss. I'm really trying to change my mantra of "I hate this!" during uncomfortable moments to "plot twist!" and whoa does it help! Such perspective. I enjoy watching the new twists and turns in your life, Melina (imagine that doesn't sound stalker-y...). Life is so Big! And fucking Hard but also fucking Great. I like how you seem to handle it. Best of luck with the wedding planning!

ME said...

Nothing to complain about but there is this missing something in my life. It's been there for awhile but the ache is getting stronger by the year.
My children are happy and healthy, we have a home, my husband has a good job, we can buy fun things here and there. I feel guilty when those murky thoughts creep into my consciousness. But really, things are good.

Emily said...

I just got engaged too :-) and I'm just plain and simply so very happy and thankful.

Meaghan said...

Getting divorced and dating someone new who I am very excited about. It has been a wild wild past 5 months for me. But feeling good about it all.

A Girl Without A Name said...

Your lego story reminds me of a comment that recently stumbled into my ears a few weeks ago. My calculus teacher was going over a problem involving a "fisherwoman" and a dock. I will admit, the term fisherwoman doesn't exactly ring as nicely as fisherman, but of course there's no excuse for sexism. "I mean this problem is unrealistic considering it involves a woman fishing," he began (and of course didn't stop there either). "Next up, the problem ends with her reeling the fish in, but we know no woman has that kind of strength, and she would have most likely fallen off the dock, but I guess we'll continue with this problem anyways." Most people seemed unbothered with my calc teacher's comment, but I digress. Despite this, things are fantastic. School has been cancelled based on a weather report involving two inches of snow (reason number 27 for why I love North Carolina).

Jen said...

I just wanted to update that I got my news and it was very good...and more than I was expecting!