This morning I endured a particularly painful acupuncture session. "This is not going to be an endurance contest," Ramsey, my acupuncturist, had said during our first meeting when I inquired, sheepishly, about the pain. But that's exactly what it did feel like today. I lay there with needles everywhere, including three in each ear. I tried to breathe in colored light, as per her instructions, as she pushed more metal into the sides of my feet. "Okay, take a deep breath for this one...." (never what you want to hear,) and she twisted the needle in circles. God damn. Ouch.
This is supposed to be grounding. And it's supposed to help my cranium stop playing host to all those electric pain storms that I get to so frequently. According to my research (an article in Real Simple magazine a google search) this ancient Chinese medicine can also make you more centered, calm, and connected.
I'll take yer calm, centered and connected and raise you one 'richer.' Or at least 'less poor.' Can your needles turn me into someone with more money? I wanted to ask. A little more in the bank account and I swear, I swear I'll work on getting more connected. I'll Connect to whatever you'd like.
Before each session, Ramsey gives me a thorough interview about what's happened to me since she last pushed needles through my skin. This is my favorite part of wholistic medicine- everything is taken into account. Every aspect of your life, physical or mental, is of equal importance.And David....just look at that style.... Rolled cigarette in his mouth, pouring out some cubalibras, Guitar hero pajama pants. I appreciate people who get after it, and David Clark is one of those people. Here's to ya, boy.
This morning during our interview I said, "Well, I'm pretty sure I got cursed by a badger I killed, I left my Ipod behind on a rock, and the job went to someone else." And then I added, "But, I'm sleeping beautifully."
Ramsey wrinkled her forehead and said, "Tell me about this badger."
Today, for some reason, I got double the needles as last time.
When I got home an hour later, I looked around the living room and felt the same sort of pervasive hopelessness I've been feeling lately. So many questions, so many things out of my control, so many things in my control that I'm just not doing anything about. Day in and day out.
So, I decided to bake. Everything in the house. Moderation has never been my forte. I'm moving in a few weeks and I decided, at that very moment, to bake up and eat everything before I left. This morning, at least, it turned out to be a pretty good idea.
What I like about cooking is the concept of turning a bunch of dry ingredients, powders and oils and raw things, into something edible. Something that will do you good. I love the way the oven or the saucepan can transform things. It makes me feel a little hopeful, like maybe I can scrap together the resources that I already have and turn them into something worth while.
In the midst of the chaos I was creating, I found a letter that Maggie had retrieved from the mail box and left on the counter. It was a personal letter to me, the kind of awesome just-for-kicks letter with handwriting squeezed in to fill the entire card. Magic. Thanks, Andrew. It went up on the fridge, a place I have reserved for the good things that come in the mail, reminders that there are lots of friends out there, friends in different cities....who maybe aren't here to pick me up off the floor and take me for out to the Margarita Mill, but they are out there, and they would if they could.
While I'm at it, here are two more things to be (really) happy about:
One....did I mention that summer is spitting distance away?
And two....David Clark is back in town. David is one of the boys who greeted me with open arms the first time I visited Boone. He and his crazy tribe swept me without reservation into the active, creative and stylish whirlwind of a life they had created in this mountain town. It left such an impression on me, I had to move here myself.
Dave has been off exploring the rivers of Ecuador and Columbia, and now he's back, passing through our town between his white water excursions. We soak up every minute of the time we have with him. It began with tacos, pin ball and PBR at the Boone Saloon, and lasted well into the night with Columbian rum and blankets on the breezy front porch as we shared stories of dropping off waterfalls in South America.
Will joined us when he got off work, and we all got to see a rare moment of unguarded happiness between two boys who have been on opposite sides of the equator for too long....
(A few more of Cat, because she was sitting in the right spot. And she's divinely beautiful.)
And yeah, I know it's blurry, but I flippin' love this smile, and it's not easy to photograph. At all. Because 'camera shy' does not even begin to describe this one.
Finally, a shout out to the littlest dog, who waits patiently for hours while I work, waiting for me to come relieve her of her post guarding the cafe, and take her on a much deserved walk.
And that's enough for now....