Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Soda pop pyschology

I am eating alone, same restaurant, same book. The woman sitting in the table next to me places her order:

"I'd like the cheeseburger, cheese on the side."
Okay. Part of me wants to stand up and punch her in the gob for the sake of all waitresses everywhere. But the other portion is too busy trying to conceptualize this. Cheeseburger, cheese on the side. Is it still a cheeseburger? At what point does it become just a burger? Have we as a populace determined the exact spacial configurations of cheese to burger in order for it to be defined as one thing or the other? Even crazier- the cheese and the meat come from the same source. Furthermore, they will end up in the same place. Therefore the cheeseburger itself is just a brief, temporary existence, merely a vehicle between one entity and another. Does the cheeseburger even exist?

Mind blowing.

Still, I want to punch her.


1 comment:

elissa said...

Now, I'm not speaking in her favor. I just want to say- these days, it's very difficult- if not impossible- to find a burger that doesn't have cheese on it. I'd know, since I'm allergic to dairy and said products. So, sometimes I AM tempted to ask for "The cheeseburger, without cheese". The difference between myself and this lady? I never do that. I get a different burger, not specifically named "cheeseburger" and ask them to remove the cheese.