Monday, October 4, 2010

The Choice

Dear Applicant/Melina/Ms. Coogan/Writer/Submitter
Thank you for your application! We at xxxxxx depend on submissions like yours to keep in business! It sure was difficult choosing between all the many qualified applicants, but we at this time have decided to take a different direction. Thanks again, and best of luck!
Sincerely/From/Best/Keep in touch/Always,


I push back my chair and stare at the screen. Again? I look around the cafe to see if anyone is looking at me, if they can see the rejection glowing around my head like a big, glaring halo. I don't understand. Why would anyone want to go in a different direction than me? I'm the greatest!

And then that little insufferable voice starts speaking from the back of my head. No you're not. You're not the greatest. You suck. You little silly goof ball of failure! Think of all the jobs you don't have! And your nose is too big! Go sit in the bath tub and feed me a marshmallow, that's all your good at!

Another day another job rejection. It's so tempting. I could retreat forever into my covers with a Mark Helprin novel. A glass of seltzer water. Spend each day pattering between the bath and my bed. It wouldn't be all bad. I've known people who have done similar things, only instead of a bedroom it's a cave. A tiny little tent in the middle of nowhere.  Or I could go to nursing school.

This is The Choice. Listen to the bitch loser alien in my head and give up. Or, slap myself across the face, open up a blank document, and start again.

I'm not trying to bring you any kitten poster watered down inspiration here. Because I'm not sure how long I can go on slapping myself across the face and starting over. But we all face The Choice sometimes, some more than others I suppose. I figure if we start talking about it, it might sting less.



Gabe said...


Third time writer, long time reader. I love your writing.

The Choice you've made is one you should never doubt. While rejection hurts, the darkness of the boardroom coffin is much more sufficating.

Your writing inspires me.

Keep it're sweet.

Blacklisted for life,

Anonymous said...

Semi-new reader, first time writer. This blog inspires all of us so keep on making the Right Choice, for everyone.


Jessica said...

"Sit in the bath and feed me a marshmallow."

Girl you have a way with words.